Also a Poet: Frank O'Hara, My Father, and Me by Ada Calhoun
Source: Publisher Hardcover, 272 pgs. I am an Amazon Affiliate
Also a Poet: Frank O'Hara, My Father, and Me by Ada Calhoun is a memoir that seems to have started out as a biography of Frank O'Hara, but really was an attempt by a daughter to capture her father's attention through the poet that tethered, at least in part, their lives together. Peter Schjeldahl is an art critic who also wrote poetry, essays, and other works, and was immersed in the New York School of poetry in which O'Hara was considered a major poet. Calhoun has felt unseen by her father, according to the memoir, even as she, too, pursued a career in writing, though mostly as a ghostwriter.
Calhoun's O'Hara journey begins long before she finds the tapes in her father's drawer and starts to listen to the interviews he conducted when trying to write a biography of the poet. The ghost of the poet has haunted her father and their lives since the start - a father dejected by the cancellation of his biography on a man he admired and a man who threw himself into writing as a critic and more to the detriment of all else, even his own poetry (which some in the book praised to Ada).
For Ada, O'Hara's poetry was a gift from her father, and through those poems, she experienced New York City in the way that she believed her father must have. She also used this connection to draw her own conclusions about her father and his obsessions, which may or may not have reflected reality for her father. In many ways, she equates O'Hara's poet-ness with her father's writer-ness and the obsessiveness it requires to shut everything else out, but what she fails to see early on is how both simply wanted to make connections and to reach out from their own emptiness and fill it up.
Calhoun is on a journey taken by her father years ago, and like many things when we seek something we don't think we already have, it becomes a competition to do better and be better as a way to prove our worth to someone we desperately want approval from. Maureen Granville-Smith, O'Hara's sister and executor of his estate, plays a pivotal role in both the journey of Calhoun and her father. What's more is that Calhoun unravels this late in the memoir - almost too late.
Past the mid-way mark, Calhoun says something about confidence being "the age requirement for everything," (pg. 134), and there is something to that. We all reach an age where we finally have that confidence we need to overcome certain obstacles or deal with certain moments in our lives, and it is through that we become capable and achieve the seemingly unachievable. This is where were are with the memoir, as well. She has reached that age of confidence where she can finally speak to her father as a writer to a writer and explore how each has lived that life very differently -- he shutting everything else out and she carving out time from her other responsibilities to concentrate on writing alone in a chunk of time. And in many ways, she answers her own questions about "How ruthless do you need to be?" to be a writer.
Also a Poet: Frank O'Hara, My Father, and Me by Ada Calhoun is so much more than a memoir; it's a peek inside the world and work of enigmatic artists and poets and how their lives unravel while they're working at their craft and they are completely unaware. Calhoun is equally unaware, but soon she begins to realize that she's seen the signs all along and that no writer/parent will ever be perfect because we are all flawed, we are all editing as we go along.
RATING: Cinquain